Another Personal Post

So if it bores you all to much. Well you can stop right now. I started this blog as a journal. A way to keep track of the day, life, experiences, moments from this body, in this time.
The battle was on the front line. There were only 2 out comes in the events that were to unfold over the next few hours. I win or I lose. It is a desperate time. So much different than times past. Big waves, steep cliffs, desert heat, and winter mountain cold. Fast cars, bad company in dangerous places. The battles of children. This is a battle of age. A battle we will all face. Time and the limits to it. Our time. My time.
I had come to the end of the road. The last stone to the path I had always followed. There were no more points I could recognize. I was off the map. I was on a new planet. It was a desperate time. Survival was only a notion. Events had taken there own course. I was facing 2 points. The fear of not living, and the fear of living. 2 desperate and dark points on the same road. The fear of living in remarkable unrelenting pain and the fear of knowing I could not live in the pain. A thin line. When the road found me on this new planet. A place with one choice. Fear. The choice I had always walked through in my now distant past. No more were there any choices. It was fear no matter how you took it. A walk with loss no matter the direction. New lines with desperate cost. The admission to the show was going to cost the same no matter where you went. It was a dark room with out a light. Cross one line, cross the other. Both unseen. Though both needed there toll. It was all consuming, the choice. Darkness, and the hand of death. Darkness, and the hand of addiction. How strong the fight to live. The line to cross into the darkness either way. The Reaper in one corner, and addiction in the next.
I lay at the hands of death and I took the addiction.
Funny thing narcotics. Cheaper than you would think, and easy to get. For the rest of your life. Once that line is crossed, you pay a price you never knew was there. I stepped into the darkness, to see the light of day one more time.