A point in time

It was not so long ago. That's how it all begins. A story, a tale, a new post in the blog. The tale of time and the events. Notations of the events as I remember them. It was not so long ago. I was 300 pounds and could not use a normal bathroom scale. An older bathroom scale. I did not even have a scale to begin the event. The start of the now daily event of my new life. A life I have changed. The day I started riding again. The day I just had enough of my extra weight, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, trigeminal neuralgia, and general bad health for a then 55 year old American male. It was, and is, a fight everyday. Effort all the time to eat well. Courage all the time to workout smart. Fearlessness of the roads with cars, trucks, and motorcycles. All driven by people with homicidal thoughts. All the effort is worth all the risk all the time. It's not about who I was and who I became. It's not about the tales of weight lost and fitness found. It's a tale of living a better life. More spice and cooking with style. Life found by going out and grabbing the action my soul was needing all the time. Living as hard as I know how. I have no idea how I have survived. I just get up put my head on and move forward into the day. I have no job, no money, no prospects. I have never been happier.
The tale is worth a look back. October 2005, close enough. I went down to the local bike shop in Manchester New Hampshire. No fear of the thin fit staff at the shop. I bought a mag trainer for my now old Klein race bike. It was a start. How many others had gone with the same dream to the very shop. How many times had the sales staff had to hear the dream of youth lost. I did not care what the staff thought. I am pig headed and stubborn. Once I start I would not stop till I dropped over dead. Dead I tell you! It was a life or death struggle, and it still is everyday. I could not even get on my old bike saddle with out a large piece of foam. The pain was just depressing. 15 mins was the max I could stand the pain of the workout. How was I going to survive? Everyday for the start it went like this. 15 mins of pain to try and stop me from the goal. To ride on the roads again. Then the foam was put away in about 10 days. That was a great day. Next I needed to get a scale to weigh myself. I needed a marker to measure the change, or the day. Then I needed to start using the DVD that came with my mag trainer. I rode in front of a TV with a DVD and tape player. I had a DVD from the Chris Carmichael training center. It was the time trial DVD. I just turned down the volume and watched the people for the first few weeks. I was up to 30 mins on the bike. I was eating well. A high protein diet that worked very well to control the type 2 diabetes. Almost no carbs. Not so good for the cholesterol. Had to start somewhere. One month later I was down to 285 pounds. I was riding 30 mins. Now I went to 45 mins., it was hard. My hands hurt, my butt hurt, my back hurt, Almost everything hurt. Seeing the weight go away was the only thing that kept me going.
Then I went back to the local bike shop again. I bought a year end close out Cannondale road bike. A carrot for the road next spring. It was parked next to the TV. TV and new bike to ride the roads with next spring. Spring was about April in New Hampshire. October to April on a indoor trainer. I needed that carrot every workout. I went and looked at that bike several times a day. When I watched TV, that new shiny road bike was right there to see. I dreamed on that bike all the time. That new bike was a dream. I needed that dream! I still have that dream today and rode it to.
These days indoors were one once at a time. Not I need to lose ten pounds. Just a small step of one once at a time. I was taking my life back one once at a time. My scale, the TV, the DVD, my new road bike, a pair of jeans 2 sizes down. Little things that stared to look like a new way. I turned the volume up on the TV and started to watch the tour DVDs of Lance Armstrong. I was training for 55 mins now with all the great riders in the tour. I was with them, every climb, every sprint, all the drama. By November of 2005 I was riding 55 mins. and my weight was 275+-. 25 pounds was gone. I started listing to the Time Trial DVD. It was way to hard for me. So I did as much as I could and just finished in my own way. I also started working out 2 days on 1 day off. Train smart not hard! Seemed to work. One once at a time. My blood sugar readings were looking better everyday. Lance Armstrong and Chris Carmichael were my best friends. I was wearing XXLARGE Lycra riding shorts from Colorado Cyclist. It seemed like a dream all these events over the last 2 years- a bit. Not even 2 years really. The winter went like this. One once at a time. I never stopped. I worked hard, but smart. I ate well, but smart. November came and went. Everything kept working one once at a time. One day at a time. One ride at a time. 2 days on the bike 1 day off. My old body needed time to recover. December and I was down to 260+-. I needed to get down to 240 if I was going to ride on the roads the spring of 2006. I knew that once I got on the roads I was going to lose the weight a lot faster. Plus I would have to ride every other day. I would be working much harder and the body would need a lot more recovery. I was thinking about spring and it was December of 2005. I had lost 40+- pounds in 3 months. This was the easy weight. The fluff. Just eating the diet I was eating was going to strip 20 pounds off me. So it was not all about the bike. There was a force of effort in it all though. The bike I mean. The effort to do it. It was hard. Every time I got on the bike it was hard. There was something about the effort that counted for so much.
January 2006, wasn't that yesterday? There was a ridable day in New Hampshire. I was going for it! I had not ridden in 13 years. I was still to far over weight (258) and more important out of shape. It was a cold day, 38 degrees. I put on every piece of riding gear I owned and a few extra things to. I could barley get down the driveway my hands and body were shaking so much. Fear of what I was trying. My heart rate shot through the roof in seconds. Pure fear! I was still to heavy to ride a light weight high tec racing road bike. What was I thinking! To late I was over the ice dam at the bottom of the driveway. In one piece and up right. I was not the only fool riding that day. I had hoped to do 20 miles. It turned out to be a bit less. After the first 4 miles I settled down a bit. I knew I could not ride 20 mile though. So I cut the ride in half, 10 miles. My front brand new wheel was coming apart. Part from my weight, part from the wheel being a 12 spoke wheel. I was still going to be lucky to get home. I took the wheel back to the shop.
What was I thinking. Starting to write this whole thing for anyway. What is the point? The push to tell the story. Today what happened today. Why is the past important today? So today was a fine day. A great day in great weather. On a great bike and carrot. With wonderful equipment. Made just the way I want it to be. Just the equipment I want. Today is the reason I wrote all this down. So what do I say? I am 205 pounds. Very fit, low body fat, lean. New muscle I never thought I would have. Just a few pounds from my perfect weight, 198. With the muscle I have put on I have lost over 120 pounds of fat easy. Maybe more. So what! It's not the fat. It's not the fitness. It's the effort, the struggle. It's the everyday if it. It's the fight to live life the way I want. To just live. Now it sounds a bit odd. So it might be odd. It's the way I wanted to go. I feel lucky everyday to do what I do. It's not about the money. It's not about the job. I have nether. It's just about the struggle, the effort, the drive to live. I feel so alive today. I wanted a reminder. I wanted the story to remind me of the way I have come for just this moment. And the story is much bigger than I have written down. I just needed a reminder of the push. The road and the prize. The long prayer. The hope of the spirit.