The Tour

I give up!!! The Tour De France sucks!!! I am so dam tired of the finger pointing, drugs, blood, and all the rest of it. The french can just have there race, and just have french riders in it. That way they can win a race for once in 33 years or so. It is just to much. I wait all year for what used to be the greatest sporting event in the world. Now it's just a joke! If the winner of the race is not french. I'm sure he will be thrown out for some violation of drugs, blood or rules some how. I think the french can just eat shit as far as I'm concerned. Ya, no french winner was ever using drugs! Oh ya, that's right, there are no french winners! I'm done with the Tour for this year. Who cares. I may be done with the tour for a long time. There are other races. Good races that are will covered and fun to keep up with. I'll watch them!!!!

What to do

Mary Anne is still on the book tour. I'm at home doing home stuff. Taking care of big dog, riding, doing the chores. Writing Mary Anne more emails than I can remember at anytime. I miss her so much. Running up the mins on the cel phone to. Not that I have ever gone over my monthly mins. Best use them. Good use to.
The question is do I do a race on Sunday. It's a hill climb time trial. Larch Mountain, 16.63 miles of fun. 13. something miles all up hill. 3300' of elevation gain. Not the best choice for a big guy. It's a flea race. The smaller you are the better your chances. Most of the time. It's a non contact race though. No peliton to deal with, crossing wheels and all that. So it's a safe race for an old fart like me. The best time I have seen in the records is 55 mins or something like that. That's just flying up that mountain. I think I will be like most. Plus one hour. The question is how much plus. As a heavy rider I am best suited for flat time trials. I do pretty good on those. Well that's not this race. I would like to do a hour 15 mins or even an hour 22 mins. More than that I will just go ride the course on my own sometime. I did some calculations on how fast I need to go and it seems a bit faster than I may be able to push the gears going up hill. Now doing the hill is a piece of cake. Getting a good time is another story. Though I have just finished stripping my #1 bike of everything to bring the bike weight down. My #1 bike weighs about 17 pounds with nothing on it. Water bottles, road kit (extra tubes and co2 to fill the tubes) Anything that will not be needed on a short run up hill. It's not like I have some carbon fiber wheels. I just will not need to carry any extra weight up the hill. I have enough extra weight on me. Sigh. So I'm just going back and forth on this. I would love to do the race. My group of 55 to 59 years old riders will only have 5 to 10 riders. Last year the fastest time was hour 9 mins I think. the slowest time was an hour 28 mins. Something like that. So I would like to be in that time range. Anymore why pay to race what I can do for free anytime.
So I am still walking the floors and looking for the right answer. Any answer would do right now.

Back out on the road

It's Tour time and it's time to get out and ride, and dream. The suffering is not in vane. The effort is Universal. Yesterday has passed and the memory is and should be short. Back out. Time to ride.
With a little work on the #1 bike, getting it all ready. Tuning the gears, cleaning the chain. Checking the tires and replacing a bad tube. Filling the bottles, taking some new stuff to. I decided to take some meds along just in case I was not really ready to ride. A bottle of pills. Not wanting to be used. Food, communication, wallet, and a singe key. It was time to do some miles. Just ease into the ride no big push. Long warm up. Out River Road South as I have ridden so many times. Almost every time as it is 3 blocks away and the quickest way out of town.
Start the legs. Start up the gear. Keep the heart rate down. Do the easy ride today. That was the plan. After the first 10 miles my body is ready to push a little harder. Though today was an easy day. Test day. See if everything was working OK. This route always leads through some farm land to the first climb, up a steep 2 step climb that I try to do easy. Get the heart rate up but not over the top. Everything in the plan was going good and I was just easing up this tough little climb. Boom, I hear the click of gears behind me. I look back and there he was. The red flag to the bull. The competition to a competitive rider. He passes me just barely. "How you doing" trying not to show how hard he worked to catch me. I said, "well I guess not so well". This rider went by me. He had a small rack on the back of his carbon fiber frame with nice wheels. I just could not stand it!! So I geared up and paced myself to the top of the climb keeping this guy in sight. Now I like to climb, but I'm big. 218 pounds of big. This guy was a flea compared to me. He was 160 pounds. So on this steep climb I had no chance. I kept him with in 20 yards by the top of the climb. There was a very fast section coming up. Down hill rollers, my favorite. My weight lets me do this kind of road very fast. Then there would be a sharp short up hill to another section of down hill rollers. So I was going to get on this guys wheel. I had him in no time at all. He started trying to speed up. I was just going easy. Though my heart rate was at 163 from the climb and effort of earlier. That's my max effort. But I was breathing OK. We both got to the short steep climb, I was going to follow for a bit more. This guy kept shifting down to an easier gear. He most have been working real hard to catch and pass me. I think he was over the top. I stood up on the little climb in a big gear and put him behind me. By the top of the little hill I was 20 yards in front of him. That was it. Time trial mode was on. It was a fast section ahead and I just put the hammer down!! I never looked back. I just went as fast and hard as I could at max heart rate for the next 45 mins. The road was clear. No one in sight. I had never gone under 22 MPH for 45 mins on a mostly flat course at max heart rate. As I have said in the past, I hate to be passed when I am riding alone.
So the ride dialed back down for the next 30 miles or so. Still moving along. Just back to a lower heart rate. 125 beats per min. Good strength building area. I was starting to get a bit tired by mile 50. I was home at mile 55. The ride did not go as planned. Though everything was perfect. My face pain was at bay. I felt good about riding again. The test ride had gone better than I thought it would. Much better.

Friday the 13th

Hummmm, a little surprise for me and Mary Anne. It's Mary Anne's first book tour and we WERE going to do it together. Both of us love to travel together and do stuff. This was to be another journey into our shared married life. Till the one thing nether of us thought would happen. Not me for sure. 38 hours ago give or take a bit. I had a attack from my Trigemial nerve. I have been battling this problem for almost 6 years now. It might be 6. When the tigeminal nerve fires off from pressure put on it by the artery next to it pumping blood from or to the brain. The result is an electric shock of unimaginable intensity. This happens because the lining around the nerve that protects the nerve from this very action has worn out. Become thin over the years and millions of beats it has had to endure. The attack I had 38 hours ago was so bad I could not stand up. I just held my head with the electric current that was running through it for a couple of hours. In that time I managed to stand up and get to the bathroom. I took some more of my 3 times a day meds to help keep this very thing from happening. There strong but did not even touch this attack. After sitting on the toilet for what seemed like an hour. Still in out of control electric pain shocking through my head Mary Anne, bless her heart. Asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and get a shot of morphine. I had a bottle of old methadone my Mom had given to me years ago. 3years at least. I had never used it. I found the bottle and took 2 and sat down on the toilet again. What else could I do. The pain was still the same as when it had started, what seemed like hours ago. I waited for the big pills to do their stuff. 20 mins later I felt no pain at all.
Now most attacks are short. Few attacks are of this huge electric type. There are a dozen or so different types of pain and attacks. Most just very nasty but endurable. Sit still and the pain eases off. Even an attack of this lower type can last days or weeks. This kind of attack is common and can be worked through with some meds and quiet time. No talking, no eating, sitting still, being very thoughtful in the actions I take. This last attack was so bad that I could not imagine having to go through another one. So much worse than "any attack" in the last 6 years. So the worry was what would the cabin pressure in an airplane do to this now raw nerve. This area that just hours before was ready to do me in. Over a few hour both Mary Anne and I knew flying as out. I was grounded. Mary Anne was going on her own. The Universe wanted me here and her there. Dam.
So what do I do now. Do I ride my bike? Do I just cool it and wait it out with a few more hours of recovery? It's a whole new game. The pain was just fearful. I'm not afraid to admit that to. Life altering pain. It's like starting a new way of living all over again. Everything that was, now is not. That might be a little over the top, but this was just scary stuff that happened. So I'll call my neurologist Monday. Not that he can do much other than let me have some stronger drugs for when the pain goes, out of control.

Class

I have had, and hope to have, the fine privilege of riding with Noah Singer again and often. Noah is a class rider. A rider that needs no coaching on how to be or conduct himself. He is a natural, a wonderful person. A fine and good young man. Noah just finished the National Road Race in PA. for under 23 years of age. He finished 28th in a field of 110 top ranked well supported riders. On a very tough course. Noah finished 2 mins down from the leader in the main peliton. A great showing. I have ridden with this young man! Noah is all class. It does not matter what Noah does in his life. Noah will be looked up to in the finest and kindest way. Noah goes to the Time Trial next. The race of truth. Noah and his team from college just finished first in the Team Time Trials a few weeks ago. Wow!!!! Here's to you Noah. The race of Truth. I feel the pain already.

Time in front Time in back

What is it that L Ron Hubbard said. Forget about the past to live in the here and now. Well it seems easy, but then if it was easy there would not be a religion, Dianetics, based around it. People have a need to follow the past. It's like an addictive drug. I have read Hubbard's book cover to cover. Man what a bore that was. I did get the idea he was writing about in the first 100 or so pages. It's the last 300+ pages that just. Well, I will let you imagine. Live in the here and now. Over come the cellular reactive memory. This memory has nothing to do with the event you are in because it is based in the past. I'll take a breath now.
So many people live in their own past. Both negative and every other event of their near and far history. Basing reactions on an event, that is not in the reality of the moment. How often does this happen to you? Are the reactions to your day based on history. I don't touch the snake because. I eat the food because. This has always been, so it will always be. What new can come from this kind of thinking? If the stream of thinking is based in the history of our memory. Not in the events of the here and now. How will anything new and brilliant come about? Break through thinking comes from the mind of a person willing to change. Willing to except a new direction based on the events of the moment. A person that can see the events of the moment as having value all on there own. Why do I even bother to write about this? A reminder to myself to stay in the stream of today. Of now. With out joining some religion based on the past. Without joining a religion of confirmation. Without joining a religion of what is already dead. Most religion is based on death or the past that is dead. Even L. Ron Hubbard is dead. Yet people follow his past as though it is the living truth of the day. Lots of religions and their followers think there script is the only truth. They will kill to prove it to. Why bother with any of that crap.
Note to myself. Keep your eyes open. It's a new day. The new frontier is strait ahead. Everything has changed in the exhale of your last breath. Breath in the new idea. See the new event. History is just the baggage to keep you from seeing the truth of your own sight. Live the life you have, not the life you think you should, or have lived in the pasted. Eyes open, it's a new day.

104 Degrees

It's not the heat that kills you. It's the lack of water. Hot days are fun if your near the water. Pool, mountain stream, river, ocean. It's all really about the water. We are bags of water, with a few ounces of chemicals thrown in. Maybe a lightning strike to. Keep the bag full of what it needs and we can get to the next day of 103 degrees.
I think I will take a day off from the bike today. I got 135 mile on in the last 3 days. I need a recovery day anyway. At the advanced age of 57 recovery is a big issue. The body just does not replace tissue as fast as it once did. Age and ageing have a new set of rules to follow. It's like learning a new language. The language of the ageing body.
I was taking the payment to the storage company. We were not sure we had the right information on the check. So a face to face hand off of the check was in order. It took a bit, but the computer finally got what the humans knew was true all along. That would be the story except the lady at the counter looked at my tanned hands. My hands show the pattern from the riding gloves I spend so much time with. The tan is quite odd. An alligator skin pattern from the netting of the gloves. I had one guy at the local bike shop think I had tattooed the pattern on my hands. He thought it was very cool. This lady at the storage company thought I was a motorcycle rider. I explained that I was a Bike Rider. A serious bike rider. She wanted to know more. I told her the story of weight loss, improved health. Managing diabetes, high blood pressure, and all the other age related test that have come my way. I made it shorter than it reads. So the lady asked how I did it. I told her the bike. Changing my eating habits. Changing the food I ate. She wanted to know more for both her and her new husband were facing the same problems. They had started eating better and going to the local workout center. They were on their 10th day and starting to feel as though they did not want to go to the gym anymore. I asked what their schedule was. She said everyday. I told her to stop that. I told her about recovery days and the time it will take to turn their bodies around. What took time for them to become. Will take time to go away. Change like this takes time and there are no short cuts at all. I told her to reward herself with fun. One meal a week with the food that she like the most. This kind of body change takes so much time you can burn out if you do not have some fun rewards. She was surprised to hear me say this. You have lost 110 pounds of fat in 12 months. You must have never been off the hard work, she said. I told her I eat pizza once a week. I eat cake once a week. I eat burgers once and a while. Not to often anymore, but once and a while is OK. I told her I worked out every other day for the first year. Not everyday. She was so surprised to hear that she was working way to hard. I went over with her about her heart rate and where she would be best suited to work out at. She was working to hard. It's common for people to work too hard. Then not give there body recovery time. I still work out to hard on the bike often. I just push so hard some days. I mean like there is a someone coming to pass me by. I hate being passed. So I was trying to let this lady know it was OK to ease off and feel good about it. Both these folks were going to be off the program in days if they did not do their recovery time. They were already getting there after 10 days. I told her I was on 22 month of my new life. It was like a 12 step program almost. Wow that's like 666 days. Now that's a bit freaky.
So the life I live seems to be having an effect here and there. People want to know. People that need to do what I am doing get a little push from my story. I get a little push from hearing their story. It's the same story as mine. I'm lucky. I have always been involved with hard athletic challenges. I know the work it takes. Everyone can do it. Though, some need coaches and stories to help them along. I'll do what I can. I think this lady and her husband will do better now that I had a moment to share. I'll go back and see how they are doing soon.

Good Friends

Honey, the new used car we were given for free has a snake living in it. Odd but true. Jessica and Kurtis, young friends of Mary Anne and I were given this Dodge Dirango for free by Kurtis's boss at the tattoo store he works at. It's a little beat, but drivable. Needs a new radiator. Not bad for a couple that are about to have their first baby. Fix and re-sell. Nice baby shower present in a odd way.
So the call came into our house. Kurtis has a snake in the new truck he brought home. I could not wait to help get the beautiful 48" Boa out of the engine block. Mary Anne was un-easy about the whole thing but put up a good effort for about 40 mins and then went off to Kinkos. Then she knew it was adventure and I would jump in with both feet. Mary Anne went off for awhile doing business. I had my hands in that engine in seconds. What a beautiful Boa it was. What I could see of it under the alternator and air conditioner. Just its head looking up at me. This snake was scared. I needed to get the snake moving out of the engine to somewhere else so I could get my hands on it. Save this little friend from the bad past it was trying to get away from. The little Boa had already been attacked by the owners dog. The owner buried the snake alive!!! He thought the snake was dead. I think this is where the Boa found the truck. That it was alive at all is a miracle. Kurtis was in need of a little help to bring this poor little snake out of the truck engine. I was the help. I love to do this stuff. By the way, Kurtis drove the truck home not knowing the snake was in it! Poor little snake.
I felt so sorry for this little snake. It was going to meet a poor end if I did not help. It may still meet a poor end. Sigh. I'll do my best.
My first need was to move the snake from where it was, to a new place that I could get my hands on it. Kurtis was into the adventure to. He was willing to put his hands in harms way if he had to. I found a small stick and gently asked the Boa to move. Just a little touch here and there. Not hard! The Boa started to move. It did not like the irritation of the stick. Before I could do anything the snake moved to the right front bumper. It was not fast, but it clearly knew it's way around the front of this truck. It was a gorgeous snake. Just beautiful! Still it was very hard to get to. I got under the front of the truck. The Boa was 12" from my face. Kurtis was my third hand. We were a good team. I needed some good gloves. Kurtis brought out his winter gloves. Perfect! I put the left hand glove on and Kurtis put the right hand one on. I'm a lefty and Kurtis is a righty. The snake was now in the right front bumper looking at me as I was on my back on the ground. Now I needed to move the little snake towards the middle of the bumper where Kurtis from above might get a hand on the snake as it moved. We needed to be gentle. These snakes can get hurt easy. We could not force anything. The little Boa started moving to the middle of the bumper. Nether of us could get a hand on it. This Boa had done this move before. It knew this truck like a cave or tree. The Boa moved to the left side of the bumper in the same place it was on the right. Dam! Now the snake just made it self as small as it could get. Tiny. I was still under the truck with the snake looking at me 12" away. I put my hand up next to it's body and pushed a bit. It started to move again. This time I got the bottom 1/3 of it's body in my un-gloved hand. I was not going to let it go unless I felt the Boa strain. I did not want to hurt the little guy. I did manage to stop the snake. I asked Kurtis if he could see the front of the Boa. Just like that Kurtis had his glove hand around the Boa's neck. I let go the tail section. Pushing all the time towards Kurtis. The snake was out! EEEEHAAAAA.
The Boa was dirty and it's face had spider webs all over it. But the little guy looked no worse for the adventure it had been on. The snake seemed happy to be out of the truck. We both calmed it by stroking it gently. The snake was kind and not bity. Kurtis's wife Jessica brought the camera out to have a record of the adventure. Jessica is about 8 months pregnant. The snake was not going to live with them. So the photos were taken. We looked the Boa over. Seemed OK. We put it in a pillow case. Used a zip tie to close the top and put the snake in a cooler with the top up. Kurtis and Jessica are making calls to find a place for this little snake. It likes Kurtis. It was clearly happy to be held. I was sorry to see it go in the pillow case. Had to be done. Good luck little guy.

Taking the Time

Out again for an 80 miler. As it turned out I could only find 75.5 on the route. It was a glorious day. Perfect temp. a few clouds. I even wore arm warmers. Though I didn't need them. They did feel good, even when it warmed up. I never took them off. Long mile pace ride. 50X15 most of the day. A good bit of wind showed up and I was lucky to have it at my back for more than half the ride. Go fast zone. It was great fun. I felt great, I was fast for an old fart. The route took 4 hours 25 mins for the 75.5 miles. I feel and felt good about the day. I even passed 2 fit young riders that just could not keep up with my easy pace. I just could not go that slow. I peddled off the front.
Here's the story. I was asking myself why the need to push myself so hard. I have not raced this year. I think I my not race all this year. I just need to train longer than I thought to come back to race form. It's the slow approach to training. No short cuts. After all the guys I will be racing with did not take 13 years off the bike as I did. So an extra year of building seems a small price to pay towards my over all strength and fitness. These guys have also raced for those 13 years. I'm way behind. So the extra year of training is not that much. This is not the whole story though. It's part. The other part is the race to live. I have an almost obsessive need to push my body back to speed. It's the "REAPER". A story that came to me last year when training hard. I can feel the "REAPER" at my back. Just a chill. A notion of that idea and reality of death and doom. Personal end. It hit me when the physical and medical problems just over took me, before I started riding and training again. What was I going to do to improve my life all around? It would have to be the bike for me. It is really all I know anymore. The bike and training. I ride for purpose, not for fun. Though I love the experiences of the road. It's the creepy feeling of death nearer than I thought it was. Age and time now having a new urgency. I reached a point where the time was shorter in this life than my age. I'm not going to live 57 more years. When I was young it seemed like a foreign country. Death was that far and un-noticeable from my sight. Now it is on a path near all the time. I have meet this "REAPER". I know it as a friend. A friend that will have to work hard to catch up to me. I'm not going to wait, for the "REAPER. The "REAPER" will have to catch me. I'm still to slow. I need to train longer and harder. Get faster. Lose more weight. Eat better. Live longer. Live stronger. Be the best I can be, with the time that I have.
So it's the notion of death and the "REAPER" that are part of my strength. Knowing I have a limited amount of time to ride the roads. Not wanting to waste the time I have. Getting out and working hard on the road. The road, the training, the race to live well. Maybe the racing is going well this year! The competition is just different,, than I thought it would be.