Well, it seems that way. Mary Anne and I just moved to our new home. A place where Mary Anne will have a writing sabbatical. A nice 6000 sq' home (not our home though) on a bay in the Northern waters of Puget Sound. The view is just great. We are guest of this wonderful house for the long winter. I get to to be the maintenance guy. The house does need some up-keep here and there. Though very very nice. Got to get here on a ferry. The Island is big enough to have some good services. We are living in the Southern part and the best services are in the Northern area. Ya, like it's a 30 min drive. We still have a few things to move. They are at the NOW SOLD condo. We have till mid October to have everything cleaned out. Should work out fine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
So we are starting our new adventure together. Mary Anne is busy getting her writing studio and art studio going in the day light basement that has nearly as good a view as the upstairs. I will have some space for my tools and stuff to do a few projects to. The walks on the beach are just inspiring. The sunsets are awesome. Wildlife is everywhere. I saw a bald eagle this morning fly eye high by the deck over looking the bay. We sit up on a bluff about 200'+-. Just grand! I'll add a photo later. For now I'm just getting over the tons of stuff we have moved. Getting organized, and just being over whelmed with the beauty of this wonderful place. There are some nice roads to ride on to.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Winds of Change
It sounds so important. A start to a novel or a great work. Maybe a screen play! No, it's non of those. A simple work this will be.
This time of year the winds come on your face from the North. The North winds come strong and fast. The afternoon is the most energetic. This is a bicycler's point of view. Wind is the friend and trainer. It all depends on the direction you are going. These winds are the winds that bring on the change in the season. Summer to Fall. As though it requires a huge effort of the wind to push the Summer South. Then the void of this push pulls the Northern cool weather in. The cool off the ice at the top of the world. The cool from Canada, British Columbia, Northern Territories,the Yukon Territories. All this effort in the Northern winds of this short moment.
My rides are for the most part North to South. I'm a continental pro going South. Fast, effortless, moving at speeds only the few can go. 25 MPH all the time, well in my dreams. Rollers are so fast there is no time for gravity to do it's work on my body. Show me who I really am, and how old this body really is. That I am a 57 year old X racer doing his best to run ahead of the storm coming my way. Then I turn and head North again. Looking to find the roads home. Bring the feeling of speed and smooth gears back to the garage. Have a new story to lie about during the Winter times of ice and snow. Some images, and feelings to make this aging rider feel as young as I am not. Then the truth comes home 25 miles out. Warm wind, 88 degrees, sometime much higher. No humidity at all. Dry, windy, no cover, your in it now. The wind that shows you who you are. Your 57, slow, almost out of water. Your heading North into the unrelenting wind of the changing season. The dreams of power and speed work for a while. Then the truth comes out for good. You grind your way in the wind, up the hills, at speeds you just don't have the heart to look at. The heart rate monitor now going up and up as though you are in a mountain pass. Your just old and you have 25 mile of this to go. Dam, what was I thinking going out in this stuff. To late for that now. Slow it down and find the right gear. Gears I climb hills in are now the gears on the flat roads. What will happen when the hills come? Keep the heart rate down and just ride smart. Those days on the Continent are over. The pro jersey you wear, you bought! The dream comes crashing down to the reality of the fight to just get home without falling over. The season of Fall will be here soon. This was just the taste of the change. Drink it in old man. It my be your last drink. Savor the effort. Feel the challenge the wind has brought. The Peleton is all around you. We suffer together. Taking our turns, one at a time. The finish line will come soon enough.
These are the winds that bring the North down to the Valley for the next challenges. The efforts to change the season are great. The dreams are there to forget the pain, the age, and the final race. Now is the time of lies and stories to forget what we don't want to tell. Maybe a team will pick me up next season.
Monday, September 10, 2007
A point in time
It was not so long ago. That's how it all begins. A story, a tale, a new post in the blog. The tale of time and the events. Notations of the events as I remember them. It was not so long ago. I was 300 pounds and could not use a normal bathroom scale. An older bathroom scale. I did not even have a scale to begin the event. The start of the now daily event of my new life. A life I have changed. The day I started riding again. The day I just had enough of my extra weight, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, trigeminal neuralgia, and general bad health for a then 55 year old American male. It was, and is, a fight everyday. Effort all the time to eat well. Courage all the time to workout smart. Fearlessness of the roads with cars, trucks, and motorcycles. All driven by people with homicidal thoughts. All the effort is worth all the risk all the time. It's not about who I was and who I became. It's not about the tales of weight lost and fitness found. It's a tale of living a better life. More spice and cooking with style. Life found by going out and grabbing the action my soul was needing all the time. Living as hard as I know how. I have no idea how I have survived. I just get up put my head on and move forward into the day. I have no job, no money, no prospects. I have never been happier.
The tale is worth a look back. October 2005, close enough. I went down to the local bike shop in Manchester New Hampshire. No fear of the thin fit staff at the shop. I bought a mag trainer for my now old Klein race bike. It was a start. How many others had gone with the same dream to the very shop. How many times had the sales staff had to hear the dream of youth lost. I did not care what the staff thought. I am pig headed and stubborn. Once I start I would not stop till I dropped over dead. Dead I tell you! It was a life or death struggle, and it still is everyday. I could not even get on my old bike saddle with out a large piece of foam. The pain was just depressing. 15 mins was the max I could stand the pain of the workout. How was I going to survive? Everyday for the start it went like this. 15 mins of pain to try and stop me from the goal. To ride on the roads again. Then the foam was put away in about 10 days. That was a great day. Next I needed to get a scale to weigh myself. I needed a marker to measure the change, or the day. Then I needed to start using the DVD that came with my mag trainer. I rode in front of a TV with a DVD and tape player. I had a DVD from the Chris Carmichael training center. It was the time trial DVD. I just turned down the volume and watched the people for the first few weeks. I was up to 30 mins on the bike. I was eating well. A high protein diet that worked very well to control the type 2 diabetes. Almost no carbs. Not so good for the cholesterol. Had to start somewhere. One month later I was down to 285 pounds. I was riding 30 mins. Now I went to 45 mins., it was hard. My hands hurt, my butt hurt, my back hurt, Almost everything hurt. Seeing the weight go away was the only thing that kept me going.
Then I went back to the local bike shop again. I bought a year end close out Cannondale road bike. A carrot for the road next spring. It was parked next to the TV. TV and new bike to ride the roads with next spring. Spring was about April in New Hampshire. October to April on a indoor trainer. I needed that carrot every workout. I went and looked at that bike several times a day. When I watched TV, that new shiny road bike was right there to see. I dreamed on that bike all the time. That new bike was a dream. I needed that dream! I still have that dream today and rode it to.
These days indoors were one once at a time. Not I need to lose ten pounds. Just a small step of one once at a time. I was taking my life back one once at a time. My scale, the TV, the DVD, my new road bike, a pair of jeans 2 sizes down. Little things that stared to look like a new way. I turned the volume up on the TV and started to watch the tour DVDs of Lance Armstrong. I was training for 55 mins now with all the great riders in the tour. I was with them, every climb, every sprint, all the drama. By November of 2005 I was riding 55 mins. and my weight was 275+-. 25 pounds was gone. I started listing to the Time Trial DVD. It was way to hard for me. So I did as much as I could and just finished in my own way. I also started working out 2 days on 1 day off. Train smart not hard! Seemed to work. One once at a time. My blood sugar readings were looking better everyday. Lance Armstrong and Chris Carmichael were my best friends. I was wearing XXLARGE Lycra riding shorts from Colorado Cyclist. It seemed like a dream all these events over the last 2 years- a bit. Not even 2 years really. The winter went like this. One once at a time. I never stopped. I worked hard, but smart. I ate well, but smart. November came and went. Everything kept working one once at a time. One day at a time. One ride at a time. 2 days on the bike 1 day off. My old body needed time to recover. December and I was down to 260+-. I needed to get down to 240 if I was going to ride on the roads the spring of 2006. I knew that once I got on the roads I was going to lose the weight a lot faster. Plus I would have to ride every other day. I would be working much harder and the body would need a lot more recovery. I was thinking about spring and it was December of 2005. I had lost 40+- pounds in 3 months. This was the easy weight. The fluff. Just eating the diet I was eating was going to strip 20 pounds off me. So it was not all about the bike. There was a force of effort in it all though. The bike I mean. The effort to do it. It was hard. Every time I got on the bike it was hard. There was something about the effort that counted for so much.
January 2006, wasn't that yesterday? There was a ridable day in New Hampshire. I was going for it! I had not ridden in 13 years. I was still to far over weight (258) and more important out of shape. It was a cold day, 38 degrees. I put on every piece of riding gear I owned and a few extra things to. I could barley get down the driveway my hands and body were shaking so much. Fear of what I was trying. My heart rate shot through the roof in seconds. Pure fear! I was still to heavy to ride a light weight high tec racing road bike. What was I thinking! To late I was over the ice dam at the bottom of the driveway. In one piece and up right. I was not the only fool riding that day. I had hoped to do 20 miles. It turned out to be a bit less. After the first 4 miles I settled down a bit. I knew I could not ride 20 mile though. So I cut the ride in half, 10 miles. My front brand new wheel was coming apart. Part from my weight, part from the wheel being a 12 spoke wheel. I was still going to be lucky to get home. I took the wheel back to the shop.
What was I thinking. Starting to write this whole thing for anyway. What is the point? The push to tell the story. Today what happened today. Why is the past important today? So today was a fine day. A great day in great weather. On a great bike and carrot. With wonderful equipment. Made just the way I want it to be. Just the equipment I want. Today is the reason I wrote all this down. So what do I say? I am 205 pounds. Very fit, low body fat, lean. New muscle I never thought I would have. Just a few pounds from my perfect weight, 198. With the muscle I have put on I have lost over 120 pounds of fat easy. Maybe more. So what! It's not the fat. It's not the fitness. It's the effort, the struggle. It's the everyday if it. It's the fight to live life the way I want. To just live. Now it sounds a bit odd. So it might be odd. It's the way I wanted to go. I feel lucky everyday to do what I do. It's not about the money. It's not about the job. I have nether. It's just about the struggle, the effort, the drive to live. I feel so alive today. I wanted a reminder. I wanted the story to remind me of the way I have come for just this moment. And the story is much bigger than I have written down. I just needed a reminder of the push. The road and the prize. The long prayer. The hope of the spirit.
The tale is worth a look back. October 2005, close enough. I went down to the local bike shop in Manchester New Hampshire. No fear of the thin fit staff at the shop. I bought a mag trainer for my now old Klein race bike. It was a start. How many others had gone with the same dream to the very shop. How many times had the sales staff had to hear the dream of youth lost. I did not care what the staff thought. I am pig headed and stubborn. Once I start I would not stop till I dropped over dead. Dead I tell you! It was a life or death struggle, and it still is everyday. I could not even get on my old bike saddle with out a large piece of foam. The pain was just depressing. 15 mins was the max I could stand the pain of the workout. How was I going to survive? Everyday for the start it went like this. 15 mins of pain to try and stop me from the goal. To ride on the roads again. Then the foam was put away in about 10 days. That was a great day. Next I needed to get a scale to weigh myself. I needed a marker to measure the change, or the day. Then I needed to start using the DVD that came with my mag trainer. I rode in front of a TV with a DVD and tape player. I had a DVD from the Chris Carmichael training center. It was the time trial DVD. I just turned down the volume and watched the people for the first few weeks. I was up to 30 mins on the bike. I was eating well. A high protein diet that worked very well to control the type 2 diabetes. Almost no carbs. Not so good for the cholesterol. Had to start somewhere. One month later I was down to 285 pounds. I was riding 30 mins. Now I went to 45 mins., it was hard. My hands hurt, my butt hurt, my back hurt, Almost everything hurt. Seeing the weight go away was the only thing that kept me going.
Then I went back to the local bike shop again. I bought a year end close out Cannondale road bike. A carrot for the road next spring. It was parked next to the TV. TV and new bike to ride the roads with next spring. Spring was about April in New Hampshire. October to April on a indoor trainer. I needed that carrot every workout. I went and looked at that bike several times a day. When I watched TV, that new shiny road bike was right there to see. I dreamed on that bike all the time. That new bike was a dream. I needed that dream! I still have that dream today and rode it to.
These days indoors were one once at a time. Not I need to lose ten pounds. Just a small step of one once at a time. I was taking my life back one once at a time. My scale, the TV, the DVD, my new road bike, a pair of jeans 2 sizes down. Little things that stared to look like a new way. I turned the volume up on the TV and started to watch the tour DVDs of Lance Armstrong. I was training for 55 mins now with all the great riders in the tour. I was with them, every climb, every sprint, all the drama. By November of 2005 I was riding 55 mins. and my weight was 275+-. 25 pounds was gone. I started listing to the Time Trial DVD. It was way to hard for me. So I did as much as I could and just finished in my own way. I also started working out 2 days on 1 day off. Train smart not hard! Seemed to work. One once at a time. My blood sugar readings were looking better everyday. Lance Armstrong and Chris Carmichael were my best friends. I was wearing XXLARGE Lycra riding shorts from Colorado Cyclist. It seemed like a dream all these events over the last 2 years- a bit. Not even 2 years really. The winter went like this. One once at a time. I never stopped. I worked hard, but smart. I ate well, but smart. November came and went. Everything kept working one once at a time. One day at a time. One ride at a time. 2 days on the bike 1 day off. My old body needed time to recover. December and I was down to 260+-. I needed to get down to 240 if I was going to ride on the roads the spring of 2006. I knew that once I got on the roads I was going to lose the weight a lot faster. Plus I would have to ride every other day. I would be working much harder and the body would need a lot more recovery. I was thinking about spring and it was December of 2005. I had lost 40+- pounds in 3 months. This was the easy weight. The fluff. Just eating the diet I was eating was going to strip 20 pounds off me. So it was not all about the bike. There was a force of effort in it all though. The bike I mean. The effort to do it. It was hard. Every time I got on the bike it was hard. There was something about the effort that counted for so much.
January 2006, wasn't that yesterday? There was a ridable day in New Hampshire. I was going for it! I had not ridden in 13 years. I was still to far over weight (258) and more important out of shape. It was a cold day, 38 degrees. I put on every piece of riding gear I owned and a few extra things to. I could barley get down the driveway my hands and body were shaking so much. Fear of what I was trying. My heart rate shot through the roof in seconds. Pure fear! I was still to heavy to ride a light weight high tec racing road bike. What was I thinking! To late I was over the ice dam at the bottom of the driveway. In one piece and up right. I was not the only fool riding that day. I had hoped to do 20 miles. It turned out to be a bit less. After the first 4 miles I settled down a bit. I knew I could not ride 20 mile though. So I cut the ride in half, 10 miles. My front brand new wheel was coming apart. Part from my weight, part from the wheel being a 12 spoke wheel. I was still going to be lucky to get home. I took the wheel back to the shop.
What was I thinking. Starting to write this whole thing for anyway. What is the point? The push to tell the story. Today what happened today. Why is the past important today? So today was a fine day. A great day in great weather. On a great bike and carrot. With wonderful equipment. Made just the way I want it to be. Just the equipment I want. Today is the reason I wrote all this down. So what do I say? I am 205 pounds. Very fit, low body fat, lean. New muscle I never thought I would have. Just a few pounds from my perfect weight, 198. With the muscle I have put on I have lost over 120 pounds of fat easy. Maybe more. So what! It's not the fat. It's not the fitness. It's the effort, the struggle. It's the everyday if it. It's the fight to live life the way I want. To just live. Now it sounds a bit odd. So it might be odd. It's the way I wanted to go. I feel lucky everyday to do what I do. It's not about the money. It's not about the job. I have nether. It's just about the struggle, the effort, the drive to live. I feel so alive today. I wanted a reminder. I wanted the story to remind me of the way I have come for just this moment. And the story is much bigger than I have written down. I just needed a reminder of the push. The road and the prize. The long prayer. The hope of the spirit.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Friends
Ya, it's about the Vultures. I'm so odd that way. It should be about all the wonderful folks that I care about. The folks that care about me and send their fine thoughts my way. Thanks to everyone.
No, it will be about the shadows of my roads. They will not be here much longer. The shadows I have ridden with for what seems like such a long adventure. The fine Vultures. The big birds of the roads near and far. Black birds on the plane side. I mean to say airplane side. The Black Vultures and the Turkey Vultures. Both sometimes the same. Just giant, wonderful soaring shadows of this season on the road with my bike. I still have the feather of the early season given to me by one of the dark monarchs. Their presents will be needed else where soon. Their job needs to move on. There is work south of here for several months. The food that we never look at. The corner dinner we can not see. The fast food that got a lot slower. The food Vultures love to eat. Best served a little on the old side. A little on the soft side to. Vultures are wonderful big birds. Now I have made it sounds as though Vultures only eat off the road or the side of the road. Eat the creatures that did not make the next day. This is true a lot of the times. A Vulture will never pass up an easy soft meal. A meal that has aged to a perfect taste. Well, it's more like a perfect softness. So I was somewhat surprised to see how often the Black Vultures were hunting in the fresh cut and harvested fields. One up about 35 to 50 feet and the other down very low. 3 feet or so. Flushing out the now exposed field animals to the partner flying a little higher. It is similar to how a hawk couple will hunt. No one thinks of Vultures as hunters. I never did till this year. So many times after harvest this was happening. I was very impressed. Watching a bird of that size freak out the little critters in the field so the partner about could swoop down and catch the field food. Over and over this happened towards the end of this season. Almost as though to say, "the work here is getting to hard. Lets move on to easier fields". Still a beautiful site. One low hunter passed over me close enough to look at me. What the Vulture was thinking was it's own business. I did not want to think about what the Vulture was really thinking. Food on the wheel.
No, I should be writing about all the wonderful folks in my life with Mary Anne. All the good thoughts turned my way. I think of these thoughts with kind appreciation. Writing to thank the kind thoughts during some mighty scary times. Times that lead me to think I am no different than the road food I saw so much of this season. I made it this far. I will work on the next miles tomorrow.
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